Support for fathers-to-be – and those who already are
By the time his wife, Allison, was a few months from delivering their first child more than five years ago, Eric Gregory knew all about the birthing process and how to install a car seat.
But he didn’t know what to expect as a new dad.
That changed when he completed “Boot Camp for New Dads,” a three-hour program hosted by First Things First of Greater Richmond in which “veteran” dads share advice and information with dads-to-be in a casual group format.
“All the maternity classes we had taken were focused on Mom,” Gregory recalled. “This was the first class I had heard about that was for dads. It was amazing.”
The program, created by a California man and then replicated nationwide, teaches dads-to-be everything from what to pack in a diaper bag and how to hold a newborn to how to identify the signs of post-partum depression in the baby’s mother.
Each session includes a facilitator and veteran dads, who bring their infants with them and share tips and experiences with the dads-to-be. Though the expectant fathers come from all different backgrounds – from unwed teens to married CEOs – they quickly find common ground, said Gregory, who has remained involved with the program as a veteran dad and facilitator.
“This happens every time I facilitate a class,” he said. “You walk in, it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday morning, there are all these guys, all strangers to each other, everybody kind of hunched over. And then when it starts, the dynamic changes almost immediately. In no time at all, the guys are relaxed, joking with each other, sharing things with each other.”
First Things First Board member and Boot Camp facilitator Jeff Ukrop agreed.
“It’s usually the most diverse group of men you could expect to put in a room – across culture and socio-economic range – but the thing they can all relate to is not having a clue about how to handle this baby,” he said.
“Boot Camp” is one of many programs offered by First Things First of Greater Richmond, a not-for-profit organization that works to educate and strengthen families. Boot Camp’s specific value quickly became apparent shortly after its inception locally in 2007, said Bob Ruthazer, the founder and program director of FTF.
“What we noticed was that there were lots of things for moms, but there was very little in our community for dads,” Ruthazer said. “We’ve seen over time the sort of tremendous negative impacts that occur when dads are missing from kids’ lives or emotionally absent. We wanted to encourage dads to be more involved and equip them.”
Sessions cost $25 and are held on Saturdays from 9 a.m. to noon several times a month at eight local hospitals, which provide the meeting space for free and also make financial contributions to the program. Boot Camp has grown primarily through word of mouth and has served more than 1,700 men since its inception, Ruthazer said.
“We had a letter from a mom [recently] saying ‘I don’t know what you did to my husband, but thank you very much!” he said.
As Gregory attests, one three-hour session can make a significant difference for an expectant father who may have many unanswered questions.
“Sometimes these young guys are holding babies for the first time at Boot Camp,” he said. “They come out of the session excited to be new dads – and they’ll be in that relationship [with their children] for their whole lives.
“It had a profound impact on me, and it continues to.”
For fathers with preschoolers and elementary school-aged children, FTF offers All Pro Dad, a national program created in part by former NFL coach Tony Dungy that is designed as a way to foster communication between dads and their children. Dads and their kids meet 10 times a year in a group setting to discuss various values, watching videos that help explain them and then having one-on-one and group conversations about them. Meetings are free, but registration is required.
During a recent gathering at the Martin’s at Crossridge, the group discussed “kindness” and the benefits of paying it forward. As a take-home exercise, each father-child pair was encouraged to put the lesson to work by paying for the person behind them the next time they passed through a tollbooth or purchased a cup of coffee, for example.
Ukrop’s son still recalls a lesson learned at an All Pro Dad meeting last October, during which the value was “humility” and attendees watched a video of NFL players celebrating touchdowns.
“At the end of it we talked about how the other team feels,” Ukrop recalled. “To this day, when he sees a touchdown, my son will go, ‘Is he being humble?’ I turn it back on him and say, ‘What do you think?’ So we’re able to have that dialogue. . . and to engage in a meaningful conversation.”
Hundreds of 'tweens' and their moms will attend the Secret Keeper Girl Crazy Hair Tour at West End Assembly of God on Jan. 22 at 6:30 p.m., a popular Bible-based tour geared toward building and strengthening relationships between mothers and their daughters (typically ages 8 to 12).
The event will feature a full fashion show, oversized balloon sculptures and confetti cannons – all in the name of inner beauty, Biblical modesty and vibrant purity. > Read more.
Citizen Staff Reports 01/15/2015
OutRVA and Say I Do! have collaborated to offer LGBT couples an opportunity to win an all-expenses-paid wedding at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden’s Robins Tea House on March 7.
In September, Richmond Region Tourism launched OutRVA, a campaign designed to show people Richmond’s strong LGBT community and highlight the area as a travel destination.
The winning couple will say "I do" in a ceremony coordinated by event designer and floral artist Casey Godlove of Strawberry Fields Flowers & Gifts and marriage concierge, Ayana Obika of All About The Journey. The couple will receive wardrobe and styling, a custom wedding cake, florals, an overnight stay at the Linden Row Inn (including a suite on the day of the wedding for preparation), and a post-wedding brunch at the Hilton Garden Inn on Sunday, March 8. > Read more.
Citizen Staff Reports 01/12/2015
CVWMA residential recycling and trash collections will continue as regularly scheduled for the Lee-Jackson (Jan. 16) and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (Jan. 19) holidays. Residential recycling collections on Friday, Jan. 16 and the week of Jan 19-23 will take place on normal collection day. Residents should place recycling container(s) out for pick-up by 7 a.m. on their regular scheduled collection day. > Read more.
CAT Theatre will hold auditions for Quartet on Saturday, Feb. 21, from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Sunday, Feb. 22, from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Auditions will be held at the theatre, located at 319 N. Wilkinson Road in Richmond. Quartet will run May 22 through June 6 and will close out CAT’s 51st season.
Director Laurie Follmer is seeking two males, ages 50-70 and two females ages 50-70. British accents are required for roles and are requested for auditions. There is no actual singing in the show. Singing ability and experience is not a requirement. Audition sides are available at http://www.cattheatre.com on the Audition Page. > Read more.
Find out how your favorite dining establishments fared during their most recent inspections by the Virginia Department of Health. > Read more.
It’s off to the theatre – this weekend in Henrico! “Two on Tap” at CACGA brings audiences back in time to an era when couples like Fred & Ginger and Mickey & Judy filled the silver screen. CAT Theatre’s production of “Book of Days” begins tonight and runs through Feb. 7. Fans of the Emmy Award-winning 1970s Saturday morning cartoon “Schoolhouse Rock!” will love the live adaptation at the University of Richmond on Sunday. The Shanghai Quartet will also perform at the University of Richmond. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.
- More News
Jan. 22, 2015Click here to read the print edition.
- More Entertainment
- More Obituaries
- More Community
- More Opinions
- More Sports
ClassifiedsPROFLOWERS. Send Flowers for Every Occasion! Anniversary, Birthday, Just Because. Starting at just $19.99. Go to http://www.proflowers.com/Celebrate to receive an extra 20 percent off any order over $29.99 or… Full text
CalendarTeens are invited to turn a winter glove into a monster pal at 7 p.m. at Fairfield Library, 1001 N. Laburnum Ave. Make your monster into a locker magnet or… Full text