Henrico County VA

Support for fathers-to-be – and those who already are

A number of expectant fathers watch as one holds an infant during “Boot Camp for New Dads,” a program held regionally by First Things First of Greater Richmond.


By the time his wife, Allison, was a few months from delivering their first child more than five years ago, Eric Gregory knew all about the birthing process and how to install a car seat.

But he didn’t know what to expect as a new dad.

That changed when he completed “Boot Camp for New Dads,” a three-hour program hosted by First Things First of Greater Richmond in which “veteran” dads share advice and information with dads-to-be in a casual group format.

“All the maternity classes we had taken were focused on Mom,” Gregory recalled. “This was the first class I had heard about that was for dads. It was amazing.”

The program, created by a California man and then replicated nationwide, teaches dads-to-be everything from what to pack in a diaper bag and how to hold a newborn to how to identify the signs of post-partum depression in the baby’s mother.

Each session includes a facilitator and veteran dads, who bring their infants with them and share tips and experiences with the dads-to-be. Though the expectant fathers come from all different backgrounds – from unwed teens to married CEOs – they quickly find common ground, said Gregory, who has remained involved with the program as a veteran dad and facilitator.

“This happens every time I facilitate a class,” he said. “You walk in, it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday morning, there are all these guys, all strangers to each other, everybody kind of hunched over. And then when it starts, the dynamic changes almost immediately. In no time at all, the guys are relaxed, joking with each other, sharing things with each other.”

First Things First Board member and Boot Camp facilitator Jeff Ukrop agreed.

“It’s usually the most diverse group of men you could expect to put in a room – across culture and socio-economic range – but the thing they can all relate to is not having a clue about how to handle this baby,” he said.

“Boot Camp” is one of many programs offered by First Things First of Greater Richmond, a not-for-profit organization that works to educate and strengthen families. Boot Camp’s specific value quickly became apparent shortly after its inception locally in 2007, said Bob Ruthazer, the founder and program director of FTF.

“What we noticed was that there were lots of things for moms, but there was very little in our community for dads,” Ruthazer said. “We’ve seen over time the sort of tremendous negative impacts that occur when dads are missing from kids’ lives or emotionally absent. We wanted to encourage dads to be more involved and equip them.”

Sessions cost $25 and are held on Saturdays from 9 a.m. to noon several times a month at eight local hospitals, which provide the meeting space for free and also make financial contributions to the program. Boot Camp has grown primarily through word of mouth and has served more than 1,700 men since its inception, Ruthazer said.

“We had a letter from a mom [recently] saying ‘I don’t know what you did to my husband, but thank you very much!” he said.

As Gregory attests, one three-hour session can make a significant difference for an expectant father who may have many unanswered questions.

“Sometimes these young guys are holding babies for the first time at Boot Camp,” he said. “They come out of the session excited to be new dads – and they’ll be in that relationship [with their children] for their whole lives.

“It had a profound impact on me, and it continues to.”

For fathers with preschoolers and elementary school-aged children, FTF offers All Pro Dad, a national program created in part by former NFL coach Tony Dungy that is designed as a way to foster communication between dads and their children. Dads and their kids meet 10 times a year in a group setting to discuss various values, watching videos that help explain them and then having one-on-one and group conversations about them. Meetings are free, but registration is required.

During a recent gathering at the Martin’s at Crossridge, the group discussed “kindness” and the benefits of paying it forward. As a take-home exercise, each father-child pair was encouraged to put the lesson to work by paying for the person behind them the next time they passed through a tollbooth or purchased a cup of coffee, for example.

Ukrop’s son still recalls a lesson learned at an All Pro Dad meeting last October, during which the value was “humility” and attendees watched a video of NFL players celebrating touchdowns.

“At the end of it we talked about how the other team feels,” Ukrop recalled. “To this day, when he sees a touchdown, my son will go, ‘Is he being humble?’ I turn it back on him and say, ‘What do you think?’ So we’re able to have that dialogue. . . and to engage in a meaningful conversation.”

For details about future “Boot Camp for New Dads” or “All Pro Dad” classes, visit http://www.firstthingsrichmond.org or call (804) 288-3431.

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Community

Tournament supports adoption efforts

Among participants at the Seventh Annual Coordinators2Inc Golf Tournament and awards luncheon Oct. 3 were (from left) Rebecca Ricardo, C2 Inc executive director; Kevin Derr, member of the winning foursome; Sharon Richardson, C2 Inc founder; and Frank Ridgway and Jon King, members of the winning foursome.

Held at The Crossings Golf Club, the tournament will benefit placement of children from Virginia's foster care system into permanent families through Coordinators2. > Read more.

A.C. Moore to host winter craft day for kids

Event will help kick of Marine Corps' 'Toys for Tots' campaign
All 140 A.C. Moore locations will serve as drop-off centers this year for the Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, and all toys collected will stay in the local communities served by the stores in which they are donated.

On Saturday, Nov. 15, the Willow Lawn location will kick off the month-long program by hosting a "Make & Take" craft event for kids. Children ages six and older will be able to make a craft and take it home with them. Representatives from the Marines will be in-store to teach customers about the Toys for Tots program. A.C. Moore team members will be on site to help with the crafts. > Read more.

CCC seeks donations for food pantry

Commonwealth Catholic Charities is in desperate need of food donations for its community food pantry that serves the region’s low-income families, according to officials with the Henrico-based nonprofit.

After moving into its new location this past summer, the agency has dedicated a larger space for the pantry but the shelves are practically empty.

“As we head into the holidays and the weather turns colder, the need for food becomes even more critical, but unfortunately our cupboards are nearly bare,” said Jay Brown, the agency’s director for the division of housing services. “Donations of food will allow us help provide.” > Read more.

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Entertainment

Restaurant watch

Find out how your favorite dining establishments fared during their most recent inspections by the Virginia Department of Health. > Read more.

‘Sizing Up!’ opens at Cultural Arts Center

The Cultural Arts Center unveils a new exhibit – "Sizing Up!" – Nov. 20-Jan. 18 in the Gumenick Family Gallery.

Artist Chuck Larivey has spent the past three years "sizing up" – creating large-scale oil paintings that are designed to engage their viewers in a monumental way by using size to captivate them and make them a part of the artistic experience.

The exhibit is appropriate for all ages and is free and open to the public at the center, located at 2880 Mountain Road in Glen Allen. > Read more.

Weekend Top 10


Are you still looking for some unique holiday gifts? There are hundreds of great options your family and friends will love at the Holly Spree on Stuart Avenue, Vintage Holiday Show and New Bridge Academy’s annual Christmas Bazaar. Shopping can be stressful so some relaxing activities can be found in Henrico this weekend as well, including “Richmond’s Finest” at The Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen, the “Nutcracker Sweet” at Moody Middle School and a jazz concert at the Henrico Theatre. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.

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The Sandston Rotary Club meets every Monday at 12:30 p.m. at Roma’s Restaurant, 325 E. Williamsburg Rd. For details, visit http://www.sandstonrotary.org Full text

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