A nest refilled

A young visitor enjoys the festivities
at CCC’s holiday party
At the age of eight, Jamie Murray turned to his parents one day and asked why he didn't have any brothers or sisters.

Retta and Ben Murray responded by contacting Henrico County's Department of Social Services, and before long, Jamie had himself a foster sibling.

But the Murrays didn't stop there. Two years later, they began working with Commonwealth Catholic Charities' Refugee Resettlement program, taking in children who have come to the United States from countries that include Haiti, Guatemala, Honduras, North Korea and Sudan.

In the years since, Jamie Murray (now 21) has had an estimated 50 or 60 siblings come to live in his home, for periods ranging from an overnight or weekend to seven years.

At a holiday party held last month for CCC foster families, Ben Murray joined his wife in reminiscing about their first 13 years as foster parents, and noted with amusement that Jamie was not quite so gung ho about having siblings later on -- even hinting occasionally that his parents could quit fostering any time.

His later reluctance was only natural, remarked Ben, considering that Jamie's earlier siblings were playmates and often younger than he was, "so he was a big brother."

"But then," added Ben, "they became teens with attitudes, and he was not so sure."

No empty nest
His parents, on the other hand, are quite sure they want to continue fostering.

In December they were fostering a 15-year-old from Mexico, an 18-year-old from Ecuador, and a 16-year-old from The Congo.

Although their charges are teenagers and young adults, they tend to demand more time and attention than typical foster children.

"They have more drama in their life," said Ben. "Or something traumatic has happened. Some don't know if their mother or father is dead or alive. Especially the Sudanese, because they came from a war-torn country."

As Julie Atkinson of CCC pointed out in a September announcement about the resettlement program, "Most kids [at back-to-school time] are worried about classes, clothes and seeing friends again.

"For refugee kids in foster care, the concerns are much bigger. They are learning a new language, new customs, and a new way of life."

An employee of the Richmond Sheriffs Office, Ben said that his wife was formerly a private duty nurse, but now stays home to be a full-time mom. Her days are filled with errands and appointments, from obtaining immunizations, physical exams and ADD medication for the children, to transporting them to psychological counseling and therapy.

Asked why they would continue to foster special-needs children at a time when other parents of college students are reveling in their empty nests, Ben answered with the reason they got involved with CCC in the first place.

"We knew there was a need," he said simply.

‘They’ve all taught us something new’
Among the most challenging tasks Ben and Retta have faced was fostering a child who kept running away or coming in after curfew.

"Every weekend it was a challenge," said Ben. "Every time I turned around I had Henrico police in front of my door."

"I told him, 'If we're going to be here to watch over you, we need to know where you are,'" said Retta; while Ben would admonish, "I can't raise you up in the street."

Sharing space with the more rebellious foster children was hard on Jamie, said Ben.

"He would get upset when they'd get sassy or smart or disrespectful," said Ben. "But I would just tell him, 'Me and Mama are going to handle that.'"

Although they eventually had to send the runaway back to his caseworker, most of the Murray children have thrived in their care and are appreciative. Ben said he will never forget the North Korean boy of about 14 who would back out of the room bowing after dinner, to show his respect and gratitude for the meal.

Building relationships with youth from varied backgrounds and cultures has benefited the Murrays as well, said Ben. "We've had [children from] a lot of different countries," said Ben, "and they've all taught us something new."

In addition to learning to cook foods from many nations, they have enjoyed introducing the children to new foods -- of which fried chicken is the hands-down favorite -- and teaching them skills such as helping with car care and yard work.

They have also had the satisfaction of seeing the children progress from speaking no English to mastering the language, and looking on as they hold down jobs, graduate high school, and go to college.

Best of all, said Ben, is seeing the children "adopt good family values over the years, and continue to live a good Christian life."

The Murrays keep in touch with former foster children all over the country, including one that they visited while in Florida on vacation, and another who recently flew in from Arizona to see them.

The one in Florida, said Ben, calls about once a week. "And if he doesn't call us, we call him!"

Asked what advice he would give to someone considering foster parenting, Ben acknowledged that the experience is not for everyone.

"People should really search their heart and make sure they're willing," he said, "because it will be different! You really have to be passionate, loving, caring and understanding, because a lot of time kids do [hurtful] things -- not meaning any harm."

And the return for dealing with those "things kids do"?

"Being a foster parent is off the scale," said Ben Murray with a smile. "It's work, but it's rewarding.

"It's really a joy.”
Bail Bonds Chesterfield VA

New GRASP scholarships to aide winners with college debt and costs


Fifteen Henrico County Public Schools students recently received a “2+2” scholarship from the non-profit organization GRASP (GReat Aspirations Scholarship Program, Inc.). In total, the newly created scholarships will help 71 students receive their baccalaureate degrees from a Virginia college or university with lower costs and less student debt.

The scholarship awards each winner $1,000 for his or her first year at a community college to cover the costs not covered by financial aid, such as books and computers. > Read more.

Long & Foster’s Innsbrook, Short Pump offices participate in community service day event


Thousands of real estate agents and employees with Long & Foster Real Estate, including those at the Innsbrook and Short Pump offices in Glen Allen, Virginia, took part in the company’s 20th annual Community Service Day June 7.

The Innsbrook and Short Pump offices chose to volunteer with Housing Families First on June 7. The organization’s mission provides families experiencing homelessness with what they need to move to a stable housing situation. > Read more.

Network of Enterprising Women to award scholarships to local HS grads

Three recent Henrico County high school graduates are among the 10 local students who will receive scholarships from the Network of Enterprising Women during the organization's monthly luncheon July 6. > Read more.

Crime Stoppers’ Crime of the Week – June 26, 2017


Richmond detectives need the public’s help to identify the vehicle and suspects in the shooting incident of a 7-year-old boy and an adult male. Can you help Crime Stoppers solve this latest shooting?

The shooting occurred in the 1500 block of North 22nd Street in the Fairmount neighborhood of the city. Officers arrived and found the two victims near a bus stop. > Read more.

Richmond Montessori School earns VAIS reaccreditation


Richmond Montessori School, an independent Montessori school for children ages 2 to 14, recently earned reaccreditation from the Virginia Association of Independent Schools. The VAIS accreditation program is one of only a few recognized at the national level through the National Association of Independent School's Commission on Accreditation and is also recognized and approved by the Virginia Board of Education through the Virginia Council for Private Education. > Read more.

Henrico Business Bulletin Board

June 2017
S M T W T F S
·
·
·
·
·

Calendar page

Classifieds

Place an Ad | More Classifieds

Calendar

Meadow Farm Museum will host “Saturday Live” from 12 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. on the first Saturday of the month through the summer. Enjoy an afternoon of interactive, living history demonstrations as you explore this mid-19th century farm. Today’s topic is “Cures & Complaints: 19th Century Medicine.” Admission is free. For details, call 501-7275 or visit http://www.henrico.us/rec. Full text

Your weather just got better.

Henricopedia

Henrico's Top Teachers

The Plate