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Title IX at 40, through a mother’s eyes

Title IX hasn't done a darn thing for me.

But I am one of its biggest fans, just the same.

As a frustrated female athlete who graduated high school 40 years ago – the same month that Title IX was signed into law – I am all too familiar with the arid wasteland that was girls' sports prior to 1972.

Back then, the only place I could get involved in the sports I loved best was from the sidelines – as a cheerleader.

Having grown up with four brothers, I'd had little choice but to learn to throw a ball from an early age. (And no girly underhand tosses, either, my brothers told me in no uncertain terms.) Eager to be included in their games, I jumped at the chance to play any position – and of course my brothers were all too happy to have me play in spots no one else wanted, like center in football or catcher in baseball.

By the time I was ten, I could fire a baseball, throw a football and shoot hoops with the best of them, and had branched out from the backyard to the playground. Keeping my hair (and my name) short, I passed as "Pat" for a time, playing sandlot baseball and schoolyard basketball with boys who never suspected my gender.

Once I hit puberty, though, the jig was up – as were my fantasies of sneaking onto a baseball team, wowing the crowd with my skills at shortstop and launching a movement to allow girls on the team.

But as any parent knows, one of the best ways to make up for deficits in our own childhoods is to provide a better life for our children.

So there were few things that gave me more joy as a parent than exposing my three daughters to sports, and seeing them develop a passion for them. From the time they could put their toddler toes to a plush soccer ball, they were dabbling in everything from gymnastics, softball, and swimming to tennis and basketball -- while I gloried in watching them.

Although they all had different tastes and ultimately chose different favorites (one daughter even played collegiate rugby), all of them reaped similar physical, social and emotional benefits. There's no doubt in my mind that sports played a huge role in the fact that all three girls are regular exercisers and healthy eaters as adults. (To this day, in fact, my youngest daughter, Lanie, avoids soda – a holdover from the hockey season when she gave it up and found she had more stamina.)

My youngest daughter also has a better grasp than most of the more subtle, socio-emotional benefits of athletics.

When she was a senior in high school, Lanie entered a teen chef competition. Putting together a packet of recipes to submit was, she told me, a lark – a way to kick back and have fun after getting through the college application ordeal. She had no expectations of doing well, for although she has always had a gift for things culinary, she had never worked in a restaurant.

Then her recipe packet landed her in the finals, and we traveled to Washington, D.C. for a cook-off with the nine other finalists. All of them, we soon learned, had worked in restaurants; but Lanie shrugged and insisted, "This is just for fun; it'll be an experience."

She took it hard, just the same, when she bombed the cook-off – or so she said. Unfamiliar with gas stoves, she had struggled to adjust her timing and set her spice sachet on fire, in addition to forgetting her shrimp cocktail sauce. It took all my powers of persuasion (actually, I bribed her with the promise of an afternoon in Old Town) to get her to stay for the 5 p.m. awards ceremony.

At the ceremony, to our astonishment, the judges pronounced Lanie the first place winner – the one who would represent the region at the national teen chef competition in Ft. Lauderdale.

Dazed, we lingered after the ceremony to ask the judges why she had been chosen. How could Lanie – a dabbler who had never set foot in a restaurant kitchen – possibly have beaten out nine more skilled and practiced chefs? Especially after making so many mistakes in her timing, not to mention omitting an item and starting a fire?

In a word, said the judges, it was Lanie's attitude – they specifically mentioned coolness under pressure and humility – that set her apart from the other cooks.

As we discussed this crazy turn of events on the euphoric ride back to Richmond, it was Lanie who put her finger on the experiences that had developed her winning attitude: "Mom, I learned all that from sports!"

Anyone who's played soccer, softball or other team sports knows that humility is part of the package. Everyone has a part to play, and the whole can't succeed without the help of many individuals – whether it's turning a double play, double-teaming an opponent or feeding the ball to a scorer.

As for the coolness under pressure, Lanie had experienced both extremes. As a captain on Maggie Walker's 2-24 basketball team, she had had to rally her teammates night after night to run out on the floor, practice their best teamwork and act like they could actually win – no matter what the odds. If they were crushed by a wide margin, they had to smile and shake hands with their opponents, pick themselves up and do it again a night or two later.

And as captain and a key player on one of Walker's powerhouse field hockey teams, Lanie had to keep her cool under a different kind of pressure: playing grueling overtime matches at regional and state tournaments.

For too long, only boys got to learn these lessons in leadership, sportsmanship and teamwork; only boys were able to reap all the character-building benefits that sports provide. So I tell this story often -- not to brag on Lanie's cooking skills, but to illustrate why athletics are so valuable for instilling self-confidence and imparting a host of life skills.

By the way, Lanie won second in the nation at the Ft. Lauderdale competition – in large part thanks to a night in the La Petite France kitchen, under the tutelage of an extraordinarily kind, world-renowned chef by the name of Paul Elbling. As an 18-year-old, she went on to enjoy a tuition-free year at a New York City culinary school.

But that's a story for another time.

I am sure there are readers, athletes and parents with success stories of their own to share. I would love to hear from you – male and female, youth and adult. What has participation in sports done for you or your child? Did lessons you learned on the playing field help mold you into the person you are today?

Let me hear your thoughts, observations and experiences, and we'll revisit this topic in a future column.

Share your stories by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).






Community

Short Pump Ruritan Club donates $50k to Virginia War Memorial

The Short Pump Ruritan/Civic Association Foundation, Inc. recently presented a check for $50,000 to the Virginia War Memorial Educational Foundation. The donation will be used to finance the production of a new film about the Vietnam War as part of the War Memorial’s award-winning Virginians at War film series. > Read more.

Vintage Home Market set for June 15-16

A longtime Lakeside business owner and his partner are bringing "The Vintage Home Market" to the Richmond International Raceway Complex June 15-16.

Tony Turner has operated a business on Lakeside Avenue for nearly 20 years, beginning with Huckleberries Home & Garden for 10 years in The Hub Shopping Center and followed by Feathernesters across the street in the Lakeside Town Center. > Read more.

Fan Care offers heat relief to seniors

Qualifying senior citizens can receive free relief from summer heat through the 23rd annual Fan Care program, which provides fans and cooling assistance to seniors 60 and older in need.

The program is an initiative of Senior Connections, The Capital Area Agency on Aging for seniors who meet income eligibility requirements and have a situation that threatens their health. > Read more.

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Entertainment

A community ‘Kaffeehaus’ in Henrico’s Far West End

Born and raised in good old Europe, I am quite familiar with the traditional Austro-Hungarian tradition of the Kaffeehaus, an institution that represents a lifestyle of relaxing and thinking in a familiar environment with coffee, pastry, news, good service, marble tables, subdued sounds like the click-clack of the coffee machine, mugs and plates, conversations among patrons and with staff and a bit of low volume Johann Strauss music.

And so it was a thrill to find a modern version of a Kaffeehaus right here in Henrico County: The Daily Grind, near Short Pump Town Center. > Read more.

Oklahoma tornado victims to benefit from Innsbrook concert

The Innsbrook Foundation will present a special concert June 19 at the Innsbrook Snagajob Pavilion to raise funds benefiting the victims of the Moore and Shawnee communities of Oklahoma.

The Innsbrook After Hours RVA Cares event will feature five bands and a family festival in recognition of the many families devastated by the Oklahoma tornadoes on May 20, which killed 23 people, injured 377 others, and left destroyed and damaged homes affecting 33,000 residents. > Read more.

Food trucks arrive in the West End

West End residents no longer have to pick between fighting the summer mall crowds for a quick bite or breaking the bank to eat at a fine-dining spot because one Richmond group is bringing both to them.

RVA Street Foodies, the organization behind the outdoor food truck courts at the Virginia Historical Society and Hardywood Brewery, debuted its new Henrico food truck court at All Saints Episcopal Church on River Road May 22. > Read more.

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