Henrico County VA

Title IX at 40, through a mother’s eyes

Title IX hasn't done a darn thing for me.

But I am one of its biggest fans, just the same.

As a frustrated female athlete who graduated high school 40 years ago – the same month that Title IX was signed into law – I am all too familiar with the arid wasteland that was girls' sports prior to 1972.

Back then, the only place I could get involved in the sports I loved best was from the sidelines – as a cheerleader.

Having grown up with four brothers, I'd had little choice but to learn to throw a ball from an early age. (And no girly underhand tosses, either, my brothers told me in no uncertain terms.) Eager to be included in their games, I jumped at the chance to play any position – and of course my brothers were all too happy to have me play in spots no one else wanted, like center in football or catcher in baseball.

By the time I was ten, I could fire a baseball, throw a football and shoot hoops with the best of them, and had branched out from the backyard to the playground. Keeping my hair (and my name) short, I passed as "Pat" for a time, playing sandlot baseball and schoolyard basketball with boys who never suspected my gender.

Once I hit puberty, though, the jig was up – as were my fantasies of sneaking onto a baseball team, wowing the crowd with my skills at shortstop and launching a movement to allow girls on the team.

But as any parent knows, one of the best ways to make up for deficits in our own childhoods is to provide a better life for our children.

So there were few things that gave me more joy as a parent than exposing my three daughters to sports, and seeing them develop a passion for them. From the time they could put their toddler toes to a plush soccer ball, they were dabbling in everything from gymnastics, softball, and swimming to tennis and basketball -- while I gloried in watching them.

Although they all had different tastes and ultimately chose different favorites (one daughter even played collegiate rugby), all of them reaped similar physical, social and emotional benefits. There's no doubt in my mind that sports played a huge role in the fact that all three girls are regular exercisers and healthy eaters as adults. (To this day, in fact, my youngest daughter, Lanie, avoids soda – a holdover from the hockey season when she gave it up and found she had more stamina.)

My youngest daughter also has a better grasp than most of the more subtle, socio-emotional benefits of athletics.

When she was a senior in high school, Lanie entered a teen chef competition. Putting together a packet of recipes to submit was, she told me, a lark – a way to kick back and have fun after getting through the college application ordeal. She had no expectations of doing well, for although she has always had a gift for things culinary, she had never worked in a restaurant.

Then her recipe packet landed her in the finals, and we traveled to Washington, D.C. for a cook-off with the nine other finalists. All of them, we soon learned, had worked in restaurants; but Lanie shrugged and insisted, "This is just for fun; it'll be an experience."

She took it hard, just the same, when she bombed the cook-off – or so she said. Unfamiliar with gas stoves, she had struggled to adjust her timing and set her spice sachet on fire, in addition to forgetting her shrimp cocktail sauce. It took all my powers of persuasion (actually, I bribed her with the promise of an afternoon in Old Town) to get her to stay for the 5 p.m. awards ceremony.

At the ceremony, to our astonishment, the judges pronounced Lanie the first place winner – the one who would represent the region at the national teen chef competition in Ft. Lauderdale.

Dazed, we lingered after the ceremony to ask the judges why she had been chosen. How could Lanie – a dabbler who had never set foot in a restaurant kitchen – possibly have beaten out nine more skilled and practiced chefs? Especially after making so many mistakes in her timing, not to mention omitting an item and starting a fire?

In a word, said the judges, it was Lanie's attitude – they specifically mentioned coolness under pressure and humility – that set her apart from the other cooks.

As we discussed this crazy turn of events on the euphoric ride back to Richmond, it was Lanie who put her finger on the experiences that had developed her winning attitude: "Mom, I learned all that from sports!"

Anyone who's played soccer, softball or other team sports knows that humility is part of the package. Everyone has a part to play, and the whole can't succeed without the help of many individuals – whether it's turning a double play, double-teaming an opponent or feeding the ball to a scorer.

As for the coolness under pressure, Lanie had experienced both extremes. As a captain on Maggie Walker's 2-24 basketball team, she had had to rally her teammates night after night to run out on the floor, practice their best teamwork and act like they could actually win – no matter what the odds. If they were crushed by a wide margin, they had to smile and shake hands with their opponents, pick themselves up and do it again a night or two later.

And as captain and a key player on one of Walker's powerhouse field hockey teams, Lanie had to keep her cool under a different kind of pressure: playing grueling overtime matches at regional and state tournaments.

For too long, only boys got to learn these lessons in leadership, sportsmanship and teamwork; only boys were able to reap all the character-building benefits that sports provide. So I tell this story often -- not to brag on Lanie's cooking skills, but to illustrate why athletics are so valuable for instilling self-confidence and imparting a host of life skills.

By the way, Lanie won second in the nation at the Ft. Lauderdale competition – in large part thanks to a night in the La Petite France kitchen, under the tutelage of an extraordinarily kind, world-renowned chef by the name of Paul Elbling. As an 18-year-old, she went on to enjoy a tuition-free year at a New York City culinary school.

But that's a story for another time.

I am sure there are readers, athletes and parents with success stories of their own to share. I would love to hear from you – male and female, youth and adult. What has participation in sports done for you or your child? Did lessons you learned on the playing field help mold you into the person you are today?

Let me hear your thoughts, observations and experiences, and we'll revisit this topic in a future column.

Share your stories by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).





Community

MADD to host candlelight vigil Dec. 2 at UR

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) will host a candlelight vigil of remembrance and hope Tuesday, Dec. 2 at 7 p.m. at the University of Richmond, outside the Cannon Chapel. The public is invited to attend and join MADD to honor victims of impaired driving crashes, while helping to remind the community to be safe during the holidays. > Read more.

Tournament supports adoption efforts

Among participants at the Seventh Annual Coordinators2Inc Golf Tournament and awards luncheon Oct. 3 were (from left) Rebecca Ricardo, C2 Inc executive director; Kevin Derr, member of the winning foursome; Sharon Richardson, C2 Inc founder; and Frank Ridgway and Jon King, members of the winning foursome.

Held at The Crossings Golf Club, the tournament will benefit placement of children from Virginia's foster care system into permanent families through Coordinators2. > Read more.

A.C. Moore to host winter craft day for kids

Event will help kick of Marine Corps' 'Toys for Tots' campaign
All 140 A.C. Moore locations will serve as drop-off centers this year for the Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, and all toys collected will stay in the local communities served by the stores in which they are donated.

On Saturday, Nov. 15, the Willow Lawn location will kick off the month-long program by hosting a "Make & Take" craft event for kids. Children ages six and older will be able to make a craft and take it home with them. Representatives from the Marines will be in-store to teach customers about the Toys for Tots program. A.C. Moore team members will be on site to help with the crafts. > Read more.

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Entertainment

Weekend Top 10


The Dominion GardenFest of Lights Grand Illumination takes place tonight at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden! This year’s theme is “A Legacy in Lights: 120 Years from Bicycle Club to Botanical Garden,” which celebrates the Garden’s history. You can also celebrate Thanksgiving again – tomorrow at Henricus Historical Park. More great events – Lavender Fields Herb Farm and Wilton House Museum will both host their holiday open house events this weekend. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.

A hero is born

Disney’s ‘Big Hero 6,’ lovable robot Baymax delight
It may be time for Olaf to step down as our nation’s reigning cartoon character. Big Hero 6, the latest animated feature from Disney, contains a challenger to the throne: Baymax (Scott Adsit), another lovably chubby white wonder, who will bring joy to children’s hearts and invade every home in America inside a six-foot pile of Disney merchandise.

Big Hero 6 (based ever so slightly on a Marvel comic of the same name) is the story of Baymax – and also his closest companion Hiro Hamada (Ryan Potter). And then also their four friends, all of whom join together to form the titular superhero team.

At first, though, it’s only Hiro, a young boy and an engineering prodigy, who’d rather spend his time in underground robot fight clubs than do something productive with his gifts. > Read more.

Authentically Italian

Bella’s feels – and tastes – like Italy should
Short Pump is known for its share of chain restaurants and strip malls, but diners looking for something more distinct can certainly find it without heading downtown or to nearby Charlottesville.

In fact, local husband-and-wife restaurateurs Valeria Bisenti and Doug Muir brought a taste of Charlottesville (and Italy) to Short Pump when they took a chance and opened Bella’s second location in the same shopping strip as Wal-Mart and Peter Chang China Cafe. (Bella’s original location is on Main Street in downtown Charlottesville.)

For a local Italian restaurant, Bella’s is as “Mom and Pop” as its gets. Valeria is Mom, and Doug is Pop. Since its opening about six months ago, diners have been eating rich comfort foods and drinking Italian wines. > Read more.

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TNT Transportation Services, Inc. will hold an official ribbon cutting ceremony Monday, Dec. 1 at 5:30 p.m. at The Faison Residence, 5233 Markel Road, Henrico, to celebrate the launch of… Full text

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