Henrico County VA

‘Restful’ vacation quickly turns to purgatory

We just got back from a week-long trip to Orlando, Fla.

The kids had a blast, but my husband and I would be content if we never visited another amusement park for the rest of our lives.

On the third or fourth day of our “vacation,” we knew ourselves to be trapped in some sort of amusement park purgatory. Similar to Sisyphus, forced to endlessly push a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll down again, we were compelled to forever push a stroller and herd two other children through a maze of people and attractions, to stand in long lines only to ride neck-jarring roller coasters, to stand in long lines to buy expensive but poor quality food, to wait
in long lines and pay ridiculous amounts of money just to park our over-priced rental car.

Yes, we were witness to some crazy sights at these amusement parks. The highlight of the trip (for everyone but my Muggle husband) was strolling through the imagined world of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. We tasted Butterbeer, bought chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, and ate at the Hogsmeade Inn. It was mind-blowing, for nerds like us.

But the craziest sight by far was witnessed not at Sea World, or Disney World or Universal Studios, nor even at Gatorland. It was witnessed at an upscale Italian restaurant in our hotel.

My husband and I were happy to get out for a couple of hours one evening without the kids. It was blissful. Picture Lady and Tramp spooling spaghetti round forks, finding themselves nose to nose, batting eyelashes at one another while music played softly in the background.

We savored our freedom, until the family with two of the most misbehaved children we’ve ever seen took the table next to ours.

While the young father seated himself, the young mother proceeded to herd the two petulant boys – at a guess, around the ages of four and two – to their seats. As she wrestled the youngest into a high chair, the four-year-old chose the opportunity to bolt for a nearby door and open it a few inches, letting in cold air that cooled my very own food.

A man that I guessed to be the grandfather told him sternly to close the door and sit down in his seat. The boy took his time at the open door, but sit down he eventually did, only to get back up again a few seconds later.

Now I’ll have to cue the amusement park music to accompany the table’s high-jinks from here on out, because – I kid you not – the boy started to run laps around the table. In a nice restaurant. With paying customers nearby. He ran those short legs like he was in some kind of contest, as if someone held a stop watch and clipboard, as if he were being cheered on by a stadium of fans.

Meanwhile, the mother scampered back and forth from seat to seat, producing sippy cups and toys from her bag. And the two men stared at their menus as if their lives depended on it, neither lifting a finger nor uttering a word to the little demon blazing a trail around them.

Their orders were taken while the boy crawled through the rungs of their chairs, kicking and whining. Their food arrived, but the boy had no appetite for anything other than aerobic exercise. He eventually tired of running around the table and opted instead to run endlessly up and down an unoccupied booth that stretched half the length of the restaurant.

Plates and glasses and cutlery glittered on the nearby tables, ripe for the crashing. At the bitter end, he took to holding onto the back of his mother’s chair and wailing while his little brother accompanied him.

I tried not to stare, I really did. But my meal was forgotten, my prior bliss a fading memory. I didn’t understand how the adults could sit there and calmly eat their rather expensive suppers while their little boy was clearly in need of an exorcism.

Any sane parent would have never brought such children out to dinner, not even to McDonald’s. It was coming up on nine o’clock, after all, and from the looks on all their zombie-like faces, Orlando had taken its toll on them, just as it had on me and my husband.

And all at once, I felt kind of sorry for them. They too were trapped in vacation purgatory. True, it seemed to be a self-induced purgatory that might well last until their children moved out of their house if they didn’t learn how to discipline their children, but still, I shared their exhausted mind-set.

Once children enter the picture, “vacation” isn’t restful anymore, not even for the children.
Community

‘Secret Keeper Girl - Crazy Hair Tour’ returning to West End Assembly of God

Hundreds of 'tweens' and their moms will attend the Secret Keeper Girl Crazy Hair Tour at West End Assembly of God on Jan. 22 at 6:30 p.m., a popular Bible-based tour geared toward building and strengthening relationships between mothers and their daughters (typically ages 8 to 12).

The event will feature a full fashion show, oversized balloon sculptures and confetti cannons – all in the name of inner beauty, Biblical modesty and vibrant purity. > Read more.

OutRVA, ‘Say I Do!’ to give away all-expenses paid wedding at Lewis Ginter

OutRVA and Say I Do! have collaborated to offer LGBT couples an opportunity to win an all-expenses-paid wedding at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden’s Robins Tea House on March 7.

In September, Richmond Region Tourism launched OutRVA, a campaign designed to show people Richmond’s strong LGBT community and highlight the area as a travel destination.

The winning couple will say "I do" in a ceremony coordinated by event designer and floral artist Casey Godlove of Strawberry Fields Flowers & Gifts and marriage concierge, Ayana Obika of All About The Journey. The couple will receive wardrobe and styling, a custom wedding cake, florals, an overnight stay at the Linden Row Inn (including a suite on the day of the wedding for preparation), and a post-wedding brunch at the Hilton Garden Inn on Sunday, March 8. > Read more.

No CVWMA collection delays for Lee-Jackson, MLK holidays

CVWMA residential recycling and trash collections will continue as regularly scheduled for the Lee-Jackson (Jan. 16) and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (Jan. 19) holidays. Residential recycling collections on Friday, Jan. 16 and the week of Jan 19-23 will take place on normal collection day. Residents should place recycling container(s) out for pick-up by 7 a.m. on their regular scheduled collection day. > Read more.

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Entertainment

CAT Theatre announces auditions for ‘Quartet’

CAT Theatre will hold auditions for Quartet on Saturday, Feb. 21, from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Sunday, Feb. 22, from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Auditions will be held at the theatre, located at 319 N. Wilkinson Road in Richmond. Quartet will run May 22 through June 6 and will close out CAT’s 51st season.

Director Laurie Follmer is seeking two males, ages 50-70 and two females ages 50-70. British accents are required for roles and are requested for auditions. There is no actual singing in the show. Singing ability and experience is not a requirement. Audition sides are available at http://www.cattheatre.com on the Audition Page. > Read more.

Restaurant watch

Find out how your favorite dining establishments fared during their most recent inspections by the Virginia Department of Health. > Read more.

Weekend Top 10


It’s off to the theatre – this weekend in Henrico! “Two on Tap” at CACGA brings audiences back in time to an era when couples like Fred & Ginger and Mickey & Judy filled the silver screen. CAT Theatre’s production of “Book of Days” begins tonight and runs through Feb. 7. Fans of the Emmy Award-winning 1970s Saturday morning cartoon “Schoolhouse Rock!” will love the live adaptation at the University of Richmond on Sunday. The Shanghai Quartet will also perform at the University of Richmond. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.

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