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Raising ‘slow’ kids no small feat today

By now most of you have heard of the slow food movement – the growing trend to support local farms and foods and sustainable growing methods.

I’m all for the slow foods movement, but I believe there’s another national treasure – yes, even more important than food – that could benefit from a slowdown.

I say it’s high time we start a slow kids movement.

I’m not advocating that we raise kids who aren’t bright. I mean we should raise them the old-fashioned way, with access to less technology and fewer gadgets.

We need fewer Playstations and Gameboys, and more puzzles, blocks, card games and board games. We need fewer X-boxes – and more cardboard boxes.

We need less lapware (make that zero lapware) and more laptime read-aloud sessions.

We need less screen time and more screened-porch time. More nature walks, backyard camping, lightning-bug catching and lazy conversations with our families.

Most of all, we need less entertainment and more moments of boredom – those moments that spur kids to build forts out of chairs, blankets, and sofa cushions and to play store, school and restaurant. It’s that kind of play that best teaches them to to experience frustration, learn patience and tolerance of others, and practice the principle of delayed gratification.

When my own three children (born in the 1980s) were young, television was the worst of the electronic distractions – and that was tough enough to limit. My girls learned from an early age, though, that “Mommy turns on the TV” and that TV was an occasional treat. It was that simple. As for electronic games and toys, they just never made it into the house (until the youngest was 10, that is, and her ever-indulgent granny bought one).

I’ll admit that like any other perennially-exhausted mom, I had days when it was all I could do to crash on the couch while the kids watched Sesame Street. But those days were the exception and not the rule.

I knew that letting my children marinate hour after lazy hour in front of the TV -- even educational TV -- was doing them no favors if it replaced creative, make-believe activities, outdoor recreation, and hands-on play with three-dimensional objects.

I knew that the very act of watching TV, no matter how good the content, encourages passivity, saps initiative, and shortens attention spans – habituating developing brains to fast-paced, constantly-shifting action.

I knew that kindergarten teachers, on the very first day of school, have no trouble picking out the children who have been regularly read to, and the kids who have been nourished on electronic entertainment. That’s why the American Academy of Pediatrics sets guidelines limiting screen time to one or two hours a day after age two – and zero screen time prior to two.

I can already see, though, that my daughters are going to face much bigger challenges than I did when they start their families and try to set such limits.

Today, TV’s are all around us: in the mall food courts, restaurants and waiting rooms, and in an astounding number of cars. From the research, I also know that an estimated half of all American children – one study of third graders put the number at 70 percent – have TV’s in their bedrooms.

But if in the rare moments that they don’t have a TV to watch, never fear – kids today have entertainment at their fingertips! I see these children in grocery stores and restaurants, eyes glued to the screens of their cell phones or hand-held games.

I have to wonder, what will happen to this generation of kids that has been pacified from birth with electronic toys, growing up with the expectation that they should never have to suffer without entertainment for even a moment? How will they cope with adulthood when they’ve learned to react to the slightest discomfort or boredom by reflexively seeking an escape from reality?

What will happen to children who have never experienced the frustration of long lines or long car rides, and who have never had to invent games in their head or – horrors – converse with a parent to amuse themselves during these down times?

It’s got to be doubly hard to raise a slow kid today, when the culture has been taken over by electronic gadgets as status symbols and social crutches. But raising slow children can still be done – if parents are willing to buck the norm and be something of a counterculture parent.

So if you’d like to raise a slow child – or maybe just introduce a slow moment here and there into your child’s fast-paced life – let’s talk.

In the coming months I plan to write in this space about the ways 21st-century parents can strive to provide their children with the best aspects of an old-fashioned childhood.

I’d like to get your feedback. What rules do you have (or did you have, if your children are grown like mine) for limiting screen time? How do you encourage reading and outdoor play?

If you’re a teacher, what classroom observations have you made about wired-from-birth students versus those from “slow” homes?

And if you think I’m all wet, and you want to tell me me about your Nintendo-addicted child who gets straight ‘A’s, or who went on to become a successful, well-adjusted adult, I want to hear from you as well.

Until then – here’s to slowing down!

Patty Kruszewski is the mother of three ‘slow’ daughters ages 29, 27 and 23, and the proud owner of Virginia license plate TV FREE. Contact her at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Community

Commonwealth Parenting, CMoR-Short Pump to present 6-part parenting forum series

As part of its 30th anniversary year and partnership with the Children's Museum of Richmond, Commonwealth Parenting will present a six-part RVA Parents Forum Series to address some of the toughest issues confronting parents.

Parenting experts and family educators will tackle topics ranging from bullying to alcohol, sex to divorce, and technology and stress. Parents will learn how to identify potential problems.

"We're excited about bringing this much-needed forum series to parents in central Virginia. Through our valuable partnership with Commonwealth Parenting, we can have a deeper impact in the community through parent and caregiver education," said Karen Coltrane, president and CEO of the Children's Museum of Richmond. > Read more.

Celebrating 106 years

Former Sandston resident Mildred Taylor celebrated her 106th birthday Aug. 9. Taylor, who now lives in Powhatan, is still a member of Sandston Baptist Church. She was visited the day after her birthday by several members of the church, who played for her a recording of the entire church membership singing happy birthday to her during worship. > Read more.

YMCA breaks ground for aquatic center

YMCA officials gathered last week to break ground on the new Tommy J. West Aquatic Center at the Shady Grove Family YMCA on Nuckols Road. The center, which will featured 7,600 square feet of competitive and recreational space, including water slides, play areas for children and warmer water for those with physical limitations, is the fourth phase of a $4 million expansion at the facility. West was president and CEO of Capital Interior Contractors and a founding member of the Central Virginia Region of the Virginia Chapter of Associated Builders and Contractors. > Read more.

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Entertainment

Weekend Top 10


Check out these three B’s in Henrico this weekend: books, bluegrass and “Born Yesterday.” Other activities to participate in – and feel good about – are the 15th annual James River Regional Cleanup and the 5th annual Richmond Out of the Darkness Community Walk. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.

When the cliche stands tall

Inspirational football movie tries too hard for its own good
When the Game Stands Tall is based on a true story – an unbelievable true story that takes the word “inspiring” about as far as it can go.

It’s a film about Bob Ladouceur, coach of the De La Salle High Spartans, a California high school football team with 12 consecutive undefeated seasons (a staggering 151 games won in a row).

Along the way, Ladouceur (played by Jim Caviezel) faced the kind of hardship most football coaches (thankfully) can only imagine – suffering a near-fatal heart attack, the death of a star player, and rebuilding the team after that 151-game streak came to a humiliating end. > Read more.

Weekend Top 10


Enjoy political comedy at its finest with The Capitol Steps at The Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen. Methodist and Baptist churches unite for the fourth annual Mission Footprint 5K, taking place at Trinity UMC. Or in honor of Grandparent’s Day on Sunday, treat them to A Grand Family Affair or maybe a movie – the 1978 film “Superman” is at the Henrico Theatre. For all our top picks this weekend, click here! > Read more.

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Registration ends today for the Henrico NAACP Freedom Fund Dinner on Sept. 27 at Quioccasin Baptist Church, 9011 Quioccasin Rd. The speaker will be Ms. Clayola Brown, president of A.… Full text

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